An Abrnomal Ending to a "love" story.

Like most post teenage girls, I have had my heart broken my fair share of times.
I can name countless occasions in which I was infatuated with a boy, but only once that I have actually unconditionally loved someone.

So you are probably wondering how I have had my heart broken so many times. This is where everything starts to get interesting, the same boy broke my heart more times than I care to recall.

I think I loved him from the very moment that I started hating him. You see, we met at a weekend camp that I went on. Being the competitive person that I am, ran straight into him during a massive game of capture the flag. I refused to move so he picked me up from the place where I was sitting and physically moved me. So I had this hatred towards him ever since that day. Finally the weekend was over and I thought I was off the hook when his group left the auditorium. BUT NO, he came casually walking back in, walked up to the microphone and asked if the pretty blonde hair blue eyed girl would give out her phone number to him. Everyone knew of our little "relationship," everyone turned towards me and I refused at first.

Later that evening I get a telephone call from the dumb jock and my feelings started to become apparent to me. I secretly liked him. The 6'something boy had me wrapped around his finger and I was loving every minute of it. We lived an hour and fifteen minutes away from each other. As a junior in high school the idea of time and space still did not seem relevant to me. I invited my dream boy to the Yellowcard concert that was not but a week later. He came and in normal style left, and came back for something he "forgot." After a kiss he was on his way home and my life was about to change forever.



He quickly became my boyfriend and I knew that he was different than any other boys I had ever dated. He was smart and gorgeous and he knew it! His senior year in high school came and went and mine was about to begin. He went off to the Air Force Academy which added more distance to an already long distance relationship. I was a dedicated and loyal girlfriend, I sent him lots of letters and stayed as upbeat as possible. He sent letters back confiding the depths of his soul to me.

School started back up and I though everything was going well! He sent me a birthday present and my parents even coordinated with him for a ski trip for my birthday. He started acting standoffish and I knew something was not right, I went along with it thinking it was just stress.

A few weeks later, out of nowhere we are no longer dating and I am getting weird messages from him that consist of things he enjoys doing being single.

We don't talk for a while and all of a sudden he decides to come visit me in my hometown over this Christmas break. It has been about two years since we hung out. I get all cute and I take him to a tacky Christmas sweater party that a few of my friends are hosting. In his drunken state he tells me everything I always wanted to know. He told me that he broke up with me because he wanted me to have a normal life, ok fine. He told me that he has not dated anyone since me because he still loved me, WHAT? OF COURSE all of my feelings came back immediately. After a night of sobering on his part and us talking, I thought things were on their way back to being how they were. He kissed me on the forehead and told me how much he still cared about me before leaving the house.

False hopes came and went when only a few weeks later he was in a relationship with another girl. On my recent visit to Colorado we decided to meet up. He started talking about how she is not very smart and kind of pretty. The whole things squandered from there.

So as you can see from my very brief description of my very awkward relationship, one boy has managed to break my heart more than any one man should be allowed. I write this not out of hatred or mean spirit, but more of a proposal.

He only had the power to do this to me because I allowed him access to my heart so many times. What if we were in complete control of every relationship? Sure we all like to think that we are in control, but we aren't. I have made a promise to myself that every relationship that I encounter from now on, I am going to be more than careful about saying I love you and letting smooth talkers get in the way of my intentions. I want to love and to be loved. Guys unintentionally hurt women all the time, that is how it will always be. So, why give them more leeway to do so? Be cautious be aware and do not let him get the better of you.

As for that proposal, that is easy, all you single ladies, make a promise to yourself to 1, stop looking for love, it will come when it is time. 2,Do not fall irrevocably in love with someone over and over again, if they have done something once they will do it again and that simply means that man is not right for you. The last thing is to not date until you are yourself. You cannot be in a reasonable relationship when you don't even know who you are. If you are unsure of yourself and your heart you could possibly be the heart breaker and no one wants that. I propose not to date until you are willing and able to define yourself on your own.

I commented on

I found the post about photgraphing traffic offenders, it is interesting you should read it. Here is the link
I also commented on it

ImmiGREAT..ion

Immigration...great! I have no problem with it as long as the criteria for entering our country is met. Only then can people reep the benefits from our country, or at least that is how it should be right?

Some may argue that allowing aliens into our country is actually helping us it is cheaper to pay them than say an actual American citizen. This is adding to people under the poverty line both ways.

Right now, more than half the immigrants in the U.S. are here illegaly. This means that more than half of the problems concerning helath care are coming from the illegal immigrants. Is this ok, when millions of Americans are struggling to pay insurance or cannot pay for health care? Many illegal immigrants do not have that problem.

The aliens just ride in their amublances across the border to New Mexico, Arizona, California, and Texas(This is not true, I am not being rude) and get free health care. These costs are currently paid by a combination of socking taxpayers in these sates and inflating the costs for patients (who pay their own bills), health insurance, and medacaid.

Essentially, the illegal immigrants are costing Americans billions of dollars.
They are living on our tab, Education:$22.5 billion; bi-ligual education:$3.3 billion; AFDC:$2.4 billion; SSI:$2.9 billion; Social Security:$24.8 billion; housing assistance:$2.6 billion; JOBS LOST by Americans:$10.8 billion, the list goes on and on all together illegals are costing Americans an annual $131.7 billion a year.

Our country is founded on the idea of life, liberty, and freedom. Why should we let people enter our country and infringe on our right? IF we are so worried about the debt we should consider fixing the immigration issue. I guess there is only so much you can do right?

I have been reading

WOw imagine that more kids arguing about the drinking age, I commented I am sure I go against the grain a bit
GO Figure

and also I have read
Very interesting
this talks about RAs on campus something I am sure not a lot of people have thought up to write but it is worth looking at and commenting on!

Faking it?

5 percent of Americans (that is more than 13 million) doctors think it could rise to 7 or 8 percent, 4% to 6% of the U.S., and 18.8 million American adults or about 9.5% of the U.S. population. These numbers represnt,in order, the percentage of Americans suffering from post traumatic stress disorder, ADD, or ADHD, and depression.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is mainly diagnosed in patients who have fought in a war or seen some horrific murder, however, there are now more and more people being diagnosed who have suffered from car accidents. This illness causes a patient to see the horrific event over and over again. They often do not seek treatment or are misdiagnosed.

Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain that causes suicidal thoughts as well as a sunken feeling of abandonment. This is also sometimes misdiagnosed and some argue that it is often overlooked. Most depression victims either seek help or take medication to control their feelings. This illness is not self-invoked like many think, it is an actual medical disorder that has nothing to do with people wanting to feel these thoughts.

ADD and AD/HD are separate illness that often are grouped into the same category. Most often found in children, these illnesses are caused by a chemical imbalance. There are several tests that must be run that help professionals determine if the disease is present in a person, as well as how severe their case may be. ADD and AD/HD are both treated with medications that help the person concentrate. They are not curable, however, they do seem to deplete with age.

All of these conditions have something in common.
They are a major concern with Americans, specifically doctors. They are concerned that too many people are being diagnosed with these illnesses that are actually not suffering from them. IS that possible? The doctors are trained professionals, sure sometimes someone will slip through the cracks and try to be diagnosed with these illnesses for purposes such as medications. But, you rather have those few people getting treatment for an illness they don’t have, or leave those with these illnesses untreated?

If someone really was seeing flashbacks of the day their mother was killed, committing suicide, or having trouble learning who are we to deny them the proper treatment. These are real conditions, why shouldn't they be treated as such?

Affirmative (Re)-Action

The last time I checked segregation and the very idea of discrimination based on gender ended in 1954. Sure, there are some issues concerning segregation and favoritism to this day but not in the same way many would think. Affirmative action, some may consider it a positive step in reestablishing women and people of color into the business and college scene— It seems though that this is exchanging one problem for another. Now, the most qualified person for the job can be turned away because of race or gender.

As an entrepreneur, I would strive to hire the best of the best. I would want the most qualified person for the job. My grandpa told me about a job he was trying to get when he was younger. He went to a telemarketer and interviewed for a job. The man who interviewed him was black and informed my grandpa that he could simply not hire him. My grandpa did not understand why because he was more than qualified for the job. After a little prying, he was told that it was because they did not have enough colored people on the payroll.

This is where I have a problem with it all, I do not care if you are pink, purple, or polka dot, you are a person and as a person, you should not want to be chosen for a job that I was not the best for. I would feel terrible sitting in an office with a shiny nameplate when I was clearly not the best person for the job. The problem that is being caused now is discrimination against a different gender and race. We are not fixing any problems, just more hatred and discrimination.
Colleges can admit people based on affirmative action if need be.

There are beauty pageants that are exclusive like Miss Black America and Spirit of India. Heaven forbid there be a White Miss America. There are scholarships for people based on race and gender, except for Caucasian men. Why would that ever be ok? The people who seem to be racist are the very people who claim they are trying to get rid of racism. It seems that instead of righting the wrong that is racism, they are flipping the roles and holding themselves at a higher level than everyone else. I am genuinely sorry that my great great (maybe there are more greats) grandfather owned slaves. However, that has absolutely nothing to do with me or anything that I have done. Therefore, it may be a good idea that we stop using color and gender for gain, and stop thinking that I personally owe anything to you.

Is that wrong to ask? I do not think that I owe anyone anything other than what they deserve. Why would someone want a job that they got based on their color or gender anyway? Why are we so focused in on affirmative action at all? Does the government feel like they have to right a wrong that happened earlier in history?

To forgive or FORGET

OK, so here is some background information. Yesterday was Valentine’s day. I have been dating my boyfriend for about five months.

I decided that I should get him dinner, since he comes home late from Army ROTC on Thursday nights. So, my best friend and I spent most of yesterday afternoon getting things ready. I went and got two movies from Blockbuster, I even asked a guy what movies would make the both of us happy since we have a different taste in movies. I came back with Mr. and Mrs. Smith as well as Across the Universe . I put a blanket on the floor, picnic style. So when he came back I had everything waiting on him. Oh yes and I also gave him a card.

So, after dinner I expected to get my present. After the movie had been playing a while, I had no present, not even a card. I texted my best friend and told her, she seemed upset to which in turn made me want to cry. I moved away from my boyfriend, distancing myself a little at a time until I was finally half way across the floor. He asked me what was wrong and all I could do was start crying and I told him I was not special.

He tried to reassure me that I was special. Well, if I were special then I would not be forgotten on Valentine’s day. He knew that it was coming, I had stated to him before that he should not eat before he came to my room because that was my gift to him. The excuse he gave to me for forgetting me was that he has been so busy this week. OK?

Do I have every right to be angry with him? Should the fact that he felt terrible have any bearing on anything? Is Vaneltine's Day even important enough for me to be upset over? Why as a culture have we let commercialism get the better of us? Or is this beyond commercialism?